


The big book of gender dynamics

by brujadelmar



Series: ABO moon cult [2]
Category: EXO (Band), SHINee
Genre: Alpha/Beta/Omega Dynamics, Bigotry & Prejudice, Implied/Referenced Abuse, M/M, Multi, Non-Linear Narrative, POV Multiple, Past, Past Relationship(s), Religious Imagery & Symbolism, Self-Esteem Issues
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-10-31
Updated: 2017-10-31
Packaged: 2019-01-26 23:51:57
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 11
Words: 12,979
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12568980
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/brujadelmar/pseuds/brujadelmar
Summary: We can never understand the human experience completely. This book may help you.





	1. MATING RITUALS IN DIFFERENT CULTURES

**Author's Note:**

> this is a SECOND part  
> that means SPOILERS  
> (pls read Written in the Stars, otherwise you won't understand)  
> also this is mostly angst, but if you read WITS, I'm pretty sure this is no news

The painting is beautiful, no doubt about it. Smoky background, sea-like, a deep blue fading to a pale grey. The frame is wood, good, old wood, curvy and clean. It hangs on a beige wall, lights perfectly positioned over it.

“What do you think,” Minseok whispers. He’s holding Jongdae by the waist, and his sharp eyes are focused on the artwork. Jongdae is wearing a coat, Minseok is right next to him, but the room feels like it’s 10 degrees.

“It’s nice,” Jongdae smiles, even if Minseok can’t see it. He doesn’t understand art – except perhaps music. He spent years training his voice, learning theory, adjusting his life to always be ready to start his musical career. It never happened – but he’s only twenty two. He could be a journalist and a singer. Minseok is a doctor and he’s good at many other things.

“I’m going to buy it, then,” Minseok nods to himself. Jongdae laughs. That thing is worth five months of his internship salary. “What?”

“It’s expensive,” Jongdae sighs. He doesn’t know why he still tries to stop his mate.

“Everything here is expensive,” Minseok points. “We need something to put in our living room. That empty wall is freaking me out.”

Minseok always says “our”, “we”; Jongdae appreciates it, but it isn’t always true. Minseok wants to make him a part of his life, and that’s… nice, but at the same time, Jongdae would rather hang a Beatles Vinyl on the wall than this… fancy thing.

“You’re right,” Jongdae says – he knows Minseok is trying to make the house cozy, because he hates anything that reminds him of a hospital. The empty wall makes _him_ anxious, so it’s not Jongdae, but Minseok who should be the one choosing what to hang on it.

“Do you like it?” Minseok kisses his neck briefly. “You can tell me if you don’t.”

He likes it. The painting is just fine, and he has a thesis to write. He’s still working on sports journalism, even if he’s writing about world politics. Running after people whose job is _running_ is breaking his legs.

“It’s beautiful,” he smiles. “I don’t really understand if it’s worth buying, you know.”

“It is,” Minseok says softly. Jongdae trusts his opinion. There’s a reason why he accepted moving abroad: he trusts Minseok’s opinion. Minseok is the most intelligent person he knows – he’s not only highly educated, but he also has other small interests, like knowing a lot about wine and coffee or being able to talk to anybody as a friend in every place he goes. He understands about world politics too and has an amazing taste in music.

“Well, then I guess you should buy it,” Jongdae says, distracted. Minseoks frowns.

“Are you sure? You sound…”

“I’m tired,” he says quickly, giving his mate a little peck on the lips. “I want to go home.”

 Minseok seems satisfied with his answer.

“You can wait at the lobby,” Minseok rubs Jongdae’s shoulders gently. “Wait for me there, okay? I won’t take long.”

Jongdae nods. A man offers him champagne and coffee on his way; he declines politely, testing the words on his tongue. It’s tiring to speak another language all day. He wishes he could be alone with his mate, but he never says no when Minseok asks for his company. It’s good to live a mated life, after all. Dinning together at restaurants, walking around holding hands and visiting new places.

Lately, after some months of honeymoon bliss, Jongdae started feeling this itch. When he’s outside, he wants to go home. When he’s home, he feels trapped. The university is no place to relax; his job is exhausting. But when he lies in bed, he’s pretty sure he’s not comfortable either.  

He catches a painting in the corner of his eye: three dogs sleeping on a farm. He stops, grabs his phone and takes a picture. He has no one to send it to, but he wants to keep it.

Of course, he’s thinking about his friends.

His parents and his sister are just fine – but sometimes Jongdae thinks about his beagles, and how much he’s missing them. He has a picture of Chanyeol in his ridiculous alpha military uniform, his ears sticking out of the cap, and he has his concerned expression on, as if that’ll make him look more like an alpha. He only calls Jongdae once a month, for five minutes and in secret; _It’s crazy here, buddy,_ he says in an abnormal voice, _I don’t know who had the idea to get so many alphas confined in the same space, one girl here broke another’s arm, I’m genuinely scared they will eat me alive._ Chanyeol is hilarious even when he’s not trying to be, Jongdae laughs (the man next to him glares at him, drinking his champagne). He misses his giant, his laugh and his talent to be completely unaware of anything around him. He’s pretty sure Chanyeol scares the entire squad, but Chanyeol thinks he’s as adorable and unthreatening as a pug.

Baekhyun is not talking to Jongdae, of course. He refused to come back home from his vacation to meet Minseok, avoided Jongdae when he announced he had a mate and joined an European orchestra a week before Jongdae and Minseok left the country. Jongdae only sees him through Instagram pictures; he’s partying, taking pictures with hot people, and having fun around the world. He’s probably dating a lot of people and Jongdae feels something heavy settling on his chest when he thinks Baekhyun may settle down one day. He swears he’s not going to mate anyone; _I have to be available if I meet Taeyeon one day, right?_ Jongdae laughs again. He doesn’t know how he’s managing to live without Baekhyun next to him.

There’s Sehun too, but he’s enjoying his college years away from them – he’s right on asking for some space after he and Chanyeol broke up. He sends Jongdae some messages, every now and then. _Got an A+!; Meet my friend, Tao! He’s an exchange student!; I dyed my hair!_

And Jongdae? Jongdae is fine. He has an established routine; he’s memorized Minseok’s schedule, the way he likes his coffee, the right technique to vacuum the house so that Minseok won’t be anxious. Jongdae knows when Minseok is sad, or when he’s having a rough day. Jongdae’s bad days in work mean breaking news; Minseok’s bad days mean dead omega or dead baby – so Jongdae tries to help his mate to relax, to worry about nothing. 

“Hey,” Minseok hugs him. “Do you like this painting?”

“Oh,” he smiles. “Reminds me of my friends, that’s all.”

 

 

 

 

The first thing Minseok does when they close the front door is to kiss Jongdae’s neck. Jongdae doesn’t work on Saturdays, Minseok has the day off. They can start mating now and only stop tomorrow night, if they want to.

“Let me take a shower,” Jongdae says, it comes out too weak. “I’ve been working all day running after football players.”

“I don’t mind,” Minseok laughs, and to prove his point, licks his mate’s cheek. Jongdae laughs too; it’s a declaration of love. He knows most people who die at the hospital are the ones who get infections there; not by their existing illnesses or medical errors. It’s traumatized Minseok: to watch a perfect birth and then, a few hours later, having to witness the parent or the baby die because of someone’s lack of hygiene ( _mostly the doctors_ , Minseok spits). He cleans the house daily; no matter how tired he is or how much Jongdae is begging for him to rest, _I’ll clean for you, baby, you’ve been working for 24 hours_. Minseok moved because he wanted to work at the public hospital, with people who couldn’t afford better treatments, he is, after all, a young doctor, full of energy. That is one of Jongdae’s favorite things in the world: people who worked for a cause. He joined beta rights for a reason. His mate loves to help omegas, always treats his patients with love and care – but there was a reason. The birthing-death rate was so high there; poor people, poor treatments. The hospital where Minseok works isn’t… the best place. He may be saving lives, but he’s losing his mind, Jongdae knows, _sees_.

“What’s wrong?” Minseok asks, concerned. “I’m sorry, you said you were tir—”

Jongdae kisses him abruptly, licks the inside of his mate’s mouth when he gasps, surprised. Moon, he loves Minseok. He’s never said it, he thinks it’s obvious, after all he did to be here with him. He fell in love back at the karaoke, when they met. Jongdae was singing with his co-workers during the happy hour, laughing, until this gorgeous man - eyeliner, tight jeans and a snarky smile, - asked, _you have a nice voice, want to sing a duet with me?_ The only thing that came out of Jongdae’s mouth was a weird screech.

They undress on the way to the room, and Jongdae knows his mate must be _really horny_ if he can ignore the clothes on the floor. Minseok always knows what he’s doing, and he takes control of the situation so naturally that Jongdae allows himself to be distracted.

He likes his internship. He’s enjoying his last month at university. He’s even thinking about a master, why not? He loves his mate. They have a nice place, a good relationship, a calm life. It’s good to be away from home. Jongdae has nothing to complain about. Nothing.

He wants to have a garden, but he knows it’d mean dirt and insects. He can live without it, after all. Minseok had to adjust himself too – he planned his schedule based on Jongdae’s, _you’re an intern and a student, it’s easier for me to make demands at work._ Minseok rarely sees his old friends; Jongdae himself has never met them, only his co-workers and another doctor called Yixing. They both had to learn a new language, to adapt to the weather, to the new routine.

“Jongdae?”

Jongdae blinks. Minseok chuckles.

“You’ve been staring at the wall for a minute,” Miseok points out. “You’re not even moving, baby.”

 

 

 

 

 

He wakes up to the smell of coffee, as always. Minseok is probably writing already. He sits in bed and he can see, by the sunlight on the sheets, that’s a beautiful day outside. They should go out.

In the living room, Minseok is writing, glasses on, big shirt and slippers. Jongdae kisses his cheek.

“Good morning,” Jongdae walks to the kitchen, inspecting it.

“I made you breakfast,” Minseok says. “You just have to put the chocolate in the microwave. It’s cold.”

Jongdae is not hungry, for some reason. He should be. It’s late, he’s tired and the food is ready.

“I wanted donuts,” he whispers. From that donut store back home, the strawberry and vanilla one. He drinks the cold chocolate, eats a piece of bread and cleans the mess he made. Jongdae wants to sleep again – he’s not sleepy. He wants to go outside – but… it’s his free day, too. He should be with his mate. He faces the world outside every day.

“What’s wrong with you?” Minseok takes his glasses off. Jongdae shakes his head.

“Nothing,” he smiles. He approaches his mate, looking for a kiss, but Minseok stops him.

“I’m not blind or stupid,” Minseok says. “If there’s nothing wrong with you, and you’re zoning out even during sex, then I must be doing something really wrong.”

“No, no, that’s not— you,” Jongdae sighs. “I’m not feeling… I don’t know. I don’t know if…”

“Is it work? Or… your thesis? If you want to take some time to—”

“Nothing like that,” Jongdae steps back. “I’m just… feeling… stuck…?”

It’s not stuck, it’s not about being confined. It’s about not being comfortable, like he’s using shoes that hurt his feet, but he can still walk elegantly. It’s about spending all day translating his thoughts, feeling lost on the streets, being confused about himself.

“Then you should’ve told me,” Minseok says softly. “You know I’ve been wanting to travel… We should take a break from this place, don’t you think so?”

Jongdae nods. Minseok is right.

“Oh, cutie,” Minseok smiles. “There’s any place that you want to go?”

 _Oh_ , Jongdae realizes.

“Home.”

 

 


	2. REPRODUCTIVE RIGHTS ARE OMEGA RIGHTS

.

 

“He’s asking for you,” the nurse says dryly. Minseok nods and waits for her to leave. She doesn’t.

“And…?”

“The other doctor asked the family not to allow any visits. The patient gets too agitated when he sees someone,” she informs him. “The surgery is next week and he needs to rest.”

“Great,” Minseok nods, _he’s agitated because he never sees anyone, such an amazing idea to isolate him even more_. “Now, if you’ll excuse me…”

She closes the door. Minseok rolls his eyes, sighing. The conservatives sure know what they were doing when they hired beta nurses and forbid them of mating. They _sure_ have lots of affection to give to the patients. This one is not the worst – there’s this guy in maternity that Minseok has seriously considered strangling to death before. The surgeon is doing his job, no doubt. This is the second attempt to fix Jongin’s colon. During the first one, he had a hemorrhage and now he’s stuck in bed again.

In Minseok’s humble opinion, there is no need to fix anything. He will not have kids, yes, but as long as he doesn’t get accidentally pregnant, he is not going to die. Of course, they’d rather kill an omega than let them live without the “gift of birthing”. Also, no one listens to Minseok’s opinion – they hate him as much they hate the patients. He’s just being accepted because he had the best score on the General Surgery Residents' Standardized Test, but his teacher asked him to switch to obstetrics. He’s working in the best Hospital, but, of course, resources come from conservative money – they would rather die than have an omega surgeon. He was surprisingly very easy to convince, _Minseok, they torture omegas in there, these people need a doctor like you next to them._

Minseok leaves his small room, nods to a doctor in the hall and walks to Jongin’s room.

He loves every patient, but Jongin is his special kid. Minseok couldn’t believe when he saw that tanned boy, muscular and looking like a model, stuck in a hospital bed. _What could possibly be his problem_ , Minseok asked the nurse, shocked, _he looks completely healthy._ That guy (the horrible one from maternity) sighed, _his problem? He can’t keep his pants on, that’s his problem_. That was code for teenage mating, Minseok knew _, it could happen to anyone, the thing is, only omegas were punished for it_. The nurse glared at him, but left the room in silence. Minseok took a long breath and repeated to himself, they’re just frustrated; they’d get fired if they mated.

Minseok opens the door, sticks his head in and smiles.

“Where’s the cutest boy in the world?”

Jongin giggles.

“Here!”

He is just a kid, Minseok sighs. A traumatized kid, no doubt. If Jongin wasn’t tall and muscular, it would be easy to convince anyone he was twelve, not seventeen. It’s hard for Minseok to accept they only have a four year age gap. _You’re young,_ Jongin said when they met. _I’m a resident, I’ll be around for you, I’m an omega too._ Jongin eyes shined, _you’re the first omega doctor I’ve seen here._ Minseok winked, _Conservatives, right?_

“How are you feeling today?” Minseok sits on the chair next to the bed. Jongin turns around to face him.

“Good, super good!”

“No pain?”

“Just a little bit,” Jongin nods. “But no blood in my pee or poop.”

“That’s good,” Minseok nods back. “Why did you ask for me? Besides, you know, to marvel at my beauty?”

“Kyungsoo said he could come today,” he whispers. “But the other doctor doesn’t want anyone to visit.”

“Kyungsoo?” Minseok is surprised. Jongin talks a lot about his best friend, but Kyungsoo has never come to visit. Jongin’s mate, a crazy kid called Taemin, has invaded the hospital three times with the help of his friends. _They’re his bandmates,_ Jongin informed Minseok, _he’s a trainee, he’s debuting soon._ They’re cute together, and Minseok thinks it’s romantic – in that Romeo and Juliet vibe– that they kept meeting in the hospital against everyone’s warnings. _They don’t let me see him because of… the pregnancy,_ Jongin cried one day, _it hurts not to talk to him, but I don’t want to ruin his career._

“Yeah, this is his first free day in three months,” Jongin smiles. “He’s going to come, please help me get him in.”

“Everything for you, babyboy,” Minseok grabs his hand. “Tell him to wait for me at the main gate at 8 pm. It’s going to be easier on the night shift.”

 

 

 

Minseok grabs his coffee mug before walking to the gate. He gave Jongin a phone, just to talk to people – he shouldn’t have, but he doesn’t care. The rules of the Conservative Hospital are ridiculous.

What Jongin doesn’t know is that Minseok knows about Kyungsoo from another friend, too, Junmyeon. They attend the same college, and Minseok thinks it’s a big coincidence, but it helps him to recognize the short boy when he arrives.

“Kyungsoo?” Minseok says aloud, but discreetly. The boy stares at him. He’s serious, small, pretty in an omega way – Minseok knows he can’t hide his omeganess.

“Dr. Kim?” he asks.

“Yes,” Minseok sips his coffee. “Follow me, don’t stare at anyone, and don’t speak, okay? It’s obstetrics, they won’t question the presence of omegas there, but if anyone asks, you’re pregnant and you’re my patient.”

Kyungsoo nods. It’s really easy to get him in Jongin’s room. Jongin almost cries in happiness, and Minseok leaves them alone and waits at the door, just in case some nurse decides to visit him.

He’s reading one of the research papers Yixing lent him when the nurse arrives with Jongin’s food. Yixing is the only med student that’s Minseok’s age. Both skipped the last years of school, got accepted into med school too young to fit into the arrogant-almost-adults group who enjoyed drinking and mating around campus. Now, Minseok is twenty-one, but he’s not in the mood anymore. Yixing has never been one to fuck around, too gentle and distracted. It took Minseok three months to find out Yixing’s gender. _My mothers are omegas, so is my older sister,_ he explained, _a rare case of omegas impregnating omegas… I guess I thought I was an omega too, until I presented._ Minseok likes Yixing – he’s just incredible, trying to study intergenders like his mother, ignoring the other alphas mockery about his friendship with Minseok. _When I start working, I’ll create a mating service,_ he confessed to Minseok one day, _My sister suffers a lot in her heats, and the public service is not helping._

“Dr. Kim?” the nurse asked, holding the plate with Jongin’s food. “Can I come in?”

“Oh,” Minseok sighs, relieved. It is the nice nurse, a small, smiling girl. “Not now, he’s having a feces problem…”

“Oh,” she nods. “I could help to clean up.”

“No need, I’ll take care of it soon. Come back in twenty minutes, okay?” Minseok smiles. She smiles back. Minseok waits until she leaves to get inside the room. Jongin is smiling brightly, talking, holding Kyungsoo’s hand. “He has to go, Nini.”

“No…” Jongin whispers. Kyungsoo gives his best friend a kiss on the cheek and murmurs something Minseok can’t hear.

“I’ll take him home,” Minseok smiles. Jongin rubs his eyes, nodding. “Go rest, you have to be okay for your surgery.”

He takes Kyungsoo to his car. It’s an old car he got from his mother, but it works just fine. Kyungsoo shakes his head.

“I can go home by myself,” he says, serious.

“I can’t let you do that. I keep my promises,” Minseok opens the door. “Especially when it involves Jongin.”

Kyungsoo gives up, but he barely speaks. He lives far away from the hospital, but so does Minseok.

“We have a friend in common, besides Jongin,” Minseok says. “Junmyeon. He’s a history major.”

“Oh, yeah, I know. I remember you, Dr. Kim,” Kyungsoo says, sighing. He looks really tired, Minseok thinks. He’s never seen an eighteen year old look so…  “You were in Junmyeon’s birthday party.”

“He likes you a lot, and so does Jongin,” Minseok smiles. “I feel like I’m meeting a famous person.”

“I wish I could visit more,” Kyungsoo says, pressing his plump lips in a line. “I’m working two jobs to pay for college. I don’t have much free time. I’ll visit more after the finals.”

“You don’t have to explain yourself,” Minseok assures him. “Do your parents—”

“They don’t endorse the gastronomy thing,” Kyungsoo says. “When it was a hobby… maybe, but they want me to choose something less ‘tiring’.”

Minseok laughs. They’re both omegas, there’s no need for explanations. It means they want him to find a job that fits mating and having kids. A job, not a career.

“I know,” Minseok says softly. “I heard that a lot, but not from my parents. They’re a born-in-a-pack beta-omega couple. My biological alpha parent is dead, but he was progressive too. My mothers always talk nice things about him.”

Kyungsoo nods. Minseok knows he was raised in a conservative house, it’s obvious.

“Jongin’s parents are very progressive too,” Kyungsoo says. “I don’t know why they—”

“It’s the best hospital around, he was about to die, Kyungsoo,” Minseok says quickly. “I’ wouldn’t want to be there either, but unfortunately they have the best doctors. They saved Jongin’s life, after all.”

Kyungsoo looks like he’s about to cry. Minseok starts talking. He talks about everything: how the nurses mistreated Jongin, the alphas doctor’s casual harassment, the way Jongin was terrified of being naked around them, the surgery… Minseok also talks about the good things. The time Taemin climbed two floors and broke into Jongin’s room through the window, scaring the shit out of him (how did he do that, only the moon knows); his sister’s gift (a car, so he can drive home right after leaving the hospital); and how much he’s been reading about different things, especially about the moon cult (Minseok gave him an e-reader, so no one could find out what he’s reading).

Minseok tells Kyungsoo about himself, too. How he was forced to change his specialization, but now, being right next to Jongin, he realizes _he had_ to do it; the omega patients need omega doctors to protect them.

“It’s my fault,” Kyungsoo whispers.

“No, it’s not.”                                                 

“It is,” he says, tears coming out, but his voice is steady and hard. “I was too hard on him. I was so angry because I presented. I knew I was going to lose everything because of the heat. When he confessed… I was… cold. Too brutal. Maybe if I…”

“This is not your fault, or his or anyone’s. Jongin has a defective organ, that’s all,” Minseok says. “If this didn’t happen now, it would have happened later. They’ll help him and he is going to be okay. The worst is over.”

 Kyungsoo cries, trembles, his body shaking. Minseok understands he’s not just crying because of Jongin – he looks exhausted.

“Hey,” Minseok says. “Are you hungry? We should eat something. I’ve only drank coffee all day long.”

Kyungsoo wipes his eyes, nods.

“It’s on me, but you have to choose the place,” Minseok says. “You’re the gastronomy boy, aren’t you?”

“I can cook for you,” Kyungsoo says softly.

“What? No. You’ve been cooking all day, haven’t you? Let someone else do the work this time.”

Kyungsoo stares at his own hands. Minseok knows what he’s thinking.

“Okay,” Kyungsoo smiles, and he’s shockingly pretty like that. No mystery about why Junmyeon talks so much about this boy. “A friend of mine makes nice cakes around here. Just turn left at the next corner.”

“Oh, cake. Is there something you recommend?”

“The cinnamon one,” he smiles brightly. “It’s my favorite.”

 

 

 

 


	3. HISTORY OF THE MOON CULTS

 .

 

“Fuck, hello,” Junmyeon groans at the phone, sitting up on the lounge chair. “Sorry, Hyoyeon. I fell asleep. What’s up?”

Junmyeon takes off his sunglasses. He hopes he doesn’t have a sunburn.

“Well, you better wake up, your fucking fuck asshole goddamn man—”

“That doesn’t make any sense—”

“Shut up,” she laughs. “I’m your editor. You have to answer my calls immediately. Always. I only call you when it’s urgent.”

“Well, I’m listening,” he smiles. He’s a bit worried about Minseok and Jongin. How long has it been since they left for the beach?

“First, I want to ask where the fuck you are? I called your parents and they told me you rented a house in the Caribbean? What the hell, Junmyeon?”

“It’s true,” He stand up, curves his back, stretching himself. “I guess I deserve that after taking a break from college to dedicate myself completely to writing, don’t you think? Also, you know Kyungsoo did the same to win that contest. He deserves this vacation as much as I do.”

“I do, I do, God, why you keep repeating that,” Hyoyeon sighs. “Congratulate him for me, by the way. I saw the picture of the four of you on the newspaper?. Are Nini and Minnie around?”

“Yes, they’re at the beach, Kyungsoo is dead asleep on the bed,” Junmyeon informs her.

“Yeah, tell me more about how you wrecked him, but later,” she says casually, but Junmyeon blushes, anyway. “Now, I have some good news.”

“Yeah, how good?”

“We got a publishing offer.”

Junmyeon walks silently to the balcony next to the pool. It’s a beautiful scenario. He takes a long, long breath.

“That’s good,” he nods. “By whom?”

“Do you know Stephanie Hwang? Most people just know her as Taeyeon’s mate.”

“Yes, I know her by name,” Junmyeon sighs again. “Of course they only know the omega as the famous alpha’s mate, huh? She has a magazine, right?”

“Yes, the Omegazine, it’s very popular,” Hyoyeon says intensely. “She has a publishing house with the same name—”

“Please don’t tell me they only publish omega-related cheesy books,” Junmyeon pleads. He can hear the shower.  Kyungsoo must have woken up. “I’ve been researching for three years, Hyo. Three years. I delayed my thesis, do you know how much time—”

“Of course I know,” she says. “I’m your editor.”

“So, why can’t you find me someone who can take this seriously, not just as an omega book? It has ten pages of references; do you want me to be sold next to those people who write dating guides for teenagers?”

“The problem is not you or me,” she sighs. “You’re writing about mating, you’re an omega, it’s true. But the problem is that your book talks about magic, fate, for the Moon, Junmyeon, the title is ‘Written In The Stars’!”

“And?”

“Oh, Moon,” he can picture her rolling her eyes. “Listen, she made a great offer, she loved the book and she has the means to make it a success, Junma. You worked too hard to let—”

Junmyeon walks back inside, ignoring Hyoyeon’s dramatic rant. He doesn’t want to make money with the book, he doesn’t want to be a best seller, another successful but forgettable thing. He wants to be taken seriously, he wants to influence people. He spent the last six months locked at home in front of his laptop – it wasn’t horrible, of course. Kyungsoo was around, cooking, checking papers, working as much or even more than him. Kyungsoo, like him, had a goal in mind: to open his own restaurant. He had almost everything ready, and he entered a cooking contest to win the money he needed – of course, Junmyeon offered to pay, but Kyungsoo was a stubborn person, and he wanted to succeed on his own. Junmyeon was proud of him; Kyungsoo wanted to show his parents he could be a great chef and no doubt, he was going to be. His boyfriend was immensely talented and he inspired Junmyeon: Kyungsoo sat one day and told him, _the prize for this contest is the exact amount I need, so I will take a break from college and I will win it._ And fuck, he did.

“I’ll think about it, Hyo,” he says, tired. Where are the boys, really? “I have to go now, I’m making breakfast. Today is Minnie’s birthday, and you know he’s going through a divorce. Love you!”

He hangs up before she can say anything. She will be pissed, but Hyoyeon is always pissed. Alphas, honestly. Junmyeon calls for delivery, because even in another country, the kitchen is Kyungsoo’s reign, not his. Jongin and Minseok finally come back, all sandy and tanned, making the poor delivery boy turn as red as a tomato.

“Do you guys have to walk around only in your swim briefs?”

“Yes,” Jongin nods, shaking his wet hair. “Minnie is single now. You’re lucky he hasn’t accepted the speedo I bought him.”

“Good Moon,” Junmyeon gives the boy a generous tip, just in case.

“Please tell me it’s not Chinese food,” Minseok complains and drops his beach bag on the ground. “Or that goat thing. What was the name, papu? Galau? Geez.”

“Kyungsoo liked that thing,” Junmyeon says. “But no, it’s just breakfast.”

“Where’s he?” Jongin looks around. “He’s still sleeping?”

“He’s in the shower,” Junmyeon points to the boxes. “Go eat, I’ll be back.”

He rented a nice house. Two floors, a pool, an ample balcony, five rooms, five bathrooms. If they could stay, Junmyeon would start writing that ABO laws book he wants to write. He researched so much to write ‘Written in the Stars’ that he could write four more books with the accumulated material. He walks into the room and breathes in the fresh air. He can see the sea from here, the room is perfect to take a nap after lunch, or read at night. Kyungsoo is sitting next to the window; wet hair and a giant white shirt on. He looks so small sitting like that, holding his knees. Junmyeon is not sure if he’s watching anything – his glasses are on the bed.

“Good morning,” Junmyeon says, smiling, leaning on the door. “Did you sleep well?”

“Yes,” Kyungsoo says, still staring at something very far away.

“Are you going to the beach? The boys just came back. Nini is so tanned he is going to be mistaken as a local.”

“Maybe later,” he nods, distracted.

“Later we are going to a party, babe. Today is Minnie birthday.”

“Oh,” Kyungsoo turns to face his boyfriend, finally. His eyes are puffy. “I forgot. Did you bring his gift?”

“I guess I did. I’ll check in the boxes. Go eat with the boys, okay? You’re not eating right lately, did you—”

“I’ll go,” Kyungsoo rolls his eyes. Junmyeon laughs and waves before leaving the room. He packed messily, hurriedly, because they had little time. Junmyeon sent the last version of his book thirty minutes before their flight, and Kyungsoo was exhausted after interacting with all the people who wanted to congratulate him. He put all the suitcases in one room, to avoid forgetting things later. Kyungsoo bought Minseok an old writing machine, portable and small, because Minseok was trying to write his dissertation, but he was having trouble staying at home since his boyfriend left him. _Everything reminds me of him,_ Minseok confessed to them, in the night he travelled back home just to visit his friends after a long time, _the empty house, the silence is killing me._ They never met this man, but Junmyeon was sure it wasn’t over yet. Minseok is not the type to get clingy or too attached, quite the opposite. 

“Moon, moon,” Junmyeon sits in his suitcase. “Where did I…”

He brought two books with him. One is the History of Moon Cults, a compendium that inspired him to research mythologies; the second one is an old, old astronomy book. Junmyeon doesn’t even know the name, he lost the cover years ago. It was a gift from his high school boyfriend, Yifan. He was obsessed with Space. They used to skip classes to sit in the library and read about stars, galaxies, black holes. Sometimes, Junmyeon would steal one of his father’s cars to drive them to somewhere they could watch the sky. Yifan knew all the constellation names and how to identify them. Sometimes Junmyeon wonders where he is, what he’s doing. The last time he heard about Yifan, he was filming a movie. An actor, what a surprise.

Junmyeon finds the box under a shirt. When he gets to the the kitchen, they’re all laughing. Jongin got an octopus dildo as a gift for Minseok. Junmyeon takes a moment to appreciate their happiness.

 

 

.

 

At the club, Jongin drinks like he’s a teenager. He is out of control, dancing on a table, making the most pornographic moves Junmyeon has ever seen. Minseok laughed when Junmyeon tried to stop him, scandalized, _he’s having fun, let him._ Jongin has also been sad lately, since Taemin is serving. He was constantly alone, and even with Kyungsoo helping him during his heats, Jongin was still needy, adopting any cat or dog that crossed his path.

Jongin is still conscious when they sing happy birthday, but he starts to throw up and Kyungsoo takes him to bed.

“I’ll sleep with him tonight, do you mind?” Kyungsoo asks, serious as ever. Junmyeon shakes his head.

“Call me if you need help,” he smiles. Minseok slices the cake and spares them their pieces, eating the rest vigorously.

“Good lord,” Junmyeon gives him a back hug, laughing. He places his chin on Minseok’s shoulder. “I wanted cake too, you know.”

“Sorry,” Minseok laughs. “Let’s leave the kitchen. I can’t be near sugary things now.”

Minseok drinks coffee, because he’s beyond addiction. Junmyeon sits in the balcony, feeling the night wind on his face. There’s some music playing nearby, a sad song in spanish.

“I think the alpha bartender jizzed in his pants when Jongin did that body roll,” Minseok says, smiling. “Funniest thing I’ve seen in a long time.”

 “Are you having fun?” Junmyeon asks.

“A lot,” Minseok sighs. “Are you having fun, honey? Or are you just too worried about everyone else to enjoy the trip?”

“I’m not having fun,” he says. “I’m relaxing. It’s different.”

“Well, if you say so,” Minseok drinks his coffee, closing his eyes. Junmyeon thinks about how long they’ve been friends. A long, long time. Two omega teenagers in a creative writing class, look at them now.

“I got a publishing offer,” he says quietly. Minseok opens his eyes, almost drops the mug.

“Oh, that’s great,” he smiles. “Why didn’t you tell us?”

 “I’m not sure yet. It’s not… exactly what I wanted. I can wait.”

“You’re always waiting, Junma, always,” Minseok shakes his head. “When are you going to learn? You’ve waited too long to write this book already. Now, you want to wait more?”

“Maybe it’s not the right time,” Junmyeon shrugs. “I want a better pub—”

“Blah, blah, blah. I will defend my thesis when I finish the book, I’ll graduate after the publishing, I’ll write about politics after graduating, I’ll marry Kyungsoo after five years of dating,” Minseok does his best impersonation of Junmyeon’s natural pouting. “Grow the fuck up, man. We don’t have the time, okay. Anything can happen. You can’t control life. When you think you’re okay, shit happens.”

“Are you talking about me or about you?”

“Both,” Minseok spits. “But I least I don’t wait anymore.”

Junmyeon throws his head back, gazes at the stars. Fate or choice? Sometimes he believes the course of destiny. Sometimes he doesn’t. In the end, he will never have the answer.

“I can ask for a sign,” he whispers.

“Here’s your fucking sign,” Minseok kicks him in the leg. “Publish the fucking book!”

“You’re drunk,” Junmyeon laughs.

“Yeah, I’ll go to bed. You’re depressing me.”

“Fuck you.”

He watches his friend leaving. Maybe Minseok is right – he’s older and wiser, he goes through hell and back, every day. The night sky is clear tonight. He can see the stars perfectly. He points to a blinking one, traces it with a finger – Yifan would certainly know its name. Junmyeon doesn’t, so he hopes it’s his star.

 

 

.


	4. HOW TO LOSE AN ALPHA IN THREE HEAT DAYS

 

 

 **POSITIVE,** the test says.

 

Kyungsoo laughs dryly. Positive. Yeah. There isn’t one positive thing about this fucking mess. He picks a glass and throws it against the wall. Jongin, on the other side of the wall, gasps so loudly Kyungsoo can hear it.

“Are you hurting yourself?” he asks. “For the Moon, Kyungsoo. I’m gonna shoot this door open!”

 “Then I’ll wait near, so you can shoot me dead too!”

“Kyungsoo, open this door!”

He supports himself on the sink. This is it. His worst nightmare, right here. He could burn the sheet of paper, if he wanted to. But what would change? Nothing. That piece of paper is just physical proof of what he already knew. Kyungsoo will open his eyes the next day with this tiny thing growing up inside of him. Small – in the best case scenario, where DNA would do the smart thing and ignore Chanyeol’s oversized genes.

“Kyungsoo!” Jongin screams. “I’ll call your fucking mother!”

“Amazing,” Kyungsoo spits. “Tell her that her son is pregnant and single because he hired an alpha to fuck his ass and now the asshole’s gone. She would love to hear it. It certainly would make me the pride of the family.”

 _That_ shuts Jongin up. But Kyungsoo knows it won’t stop him. Jongin locked Kyungsoo in a room so he wouldn’t go to work while sick. Jongin copied all of Kyungsoo’s online passwords to make sure he wasn’t going to get hacked. Jongin stole Kyungsoo’s pee to get a pregnancy test. He wasn’t this crazy when they were teenagers – but Jongin mated a whiny, inconsequent, chaotic person, and now they’re both sociopaths. Kyungsoo had been warned. Mating makes people lose their shit.

He should’ve known better. When did he lose his mind? When he was almost seventeen and his pants suddenly got wet? When he took his first suppressants? When that thing stopped working while he was in the middle of Twelve’s Kitchen and Amber had to lock him in the storage room? When he listened to Minseok’s craziest idea yet, to hire a mate? When his traitorous body decided that no suppressants would work on him, even when Kyungsoo kept trying and trying during the CHOOSE selection process?

No. The right answer was: when Kyungsoo decided to click on that disgusting PCY profile. Right there, Kyungsoo acted like a total dumbass. He could have fucking dated someone – honest to God, his work obsession always led him to the dumbest decisions. And all of this because he wanted to impress his parents. The choir, the university, the restaurant, everything he did, only to find out they would never be satisfied with his success because they just wanted him to be a fucking mated omega without any kind of prospects or career ever. Kyungsoo could have won the damn Nobel Prize. They wouldn’t care.

If Kyungsoo wasn’t so obsessed with work, he would have been there when Jongin needed him. He would be less stressed. People wouldn’t think he’s an asshole. He would be travelling around the world with Junmyeon, because fuck, their relationship was boring as hell, yes, but it was emotionally safe and he would never have had to worry about the possibility of a baby.

Now Kyungsoo is fucking pregnant. From an alpha who wears teddy bear underwear.

Kyungsoo breaks another glass, just because.

“Kyungsoo,” Jongin pleads. It’s his baby voice. “ _Pretend I’m not 1,80m and buff! I’m still a baby! I need you!_ ” Fuck him.

“Fuck you,” Kyungsoo screams back. He’s too soft. He’s always been too soft. Who falls for a guy who looks like something drawn by a 5 year old? Stupid Chanyeol, with those eyes almost popping out of his face, those cartoonish ears, that big… that man only has a small brain. The rest is too fucking big. He looks like he’s permanently using baseball gloves.

“Just tell me you’re not hurting yourself,” Jongin pleads.

That’s rich coming from a guy who’s forcing his pregnant friend to stay locked inside a kitchen. He has a fucking gun, for God’s sake.

“Shut up,” Kyungsoo says, looking for the tequila. Oh. Yeah. He can’t drink his problems away. He’s fucking pregnant. “I hate this.”

That’s it. This is the scariest moment of his life. Everything he thought would never happen to him. And all of this because he was stupid enough to go and get attached to someone he shouldn’t. He was so stupid.

He sat in that damn café before his heat hit him. He watched Chanyeol being overly nice to everyone; bending down to talk to the omega girl who brought him coffee so that she wouldn’t have to look up; petting dogs on the street; playing like he couldn’t see a thing, like the damn guitar was part of him; he saw how he was always shrinking, hiding in those big, ridiculous clothes of his, like he wanted to convince everybody he wasn’t a scary alpha.

And yet. Kyungsoo fell for that shit.

Oh, yeah, he had to make sure Kyungsoo believed it was real. It was his job. Chanyeol’s eyes sparkling, complimenting everything Kyungsoo did, wrapping him up like a burrito, asking for kisses, being understanding, warm, careful… That motherfucker even knotted him against a wall. What an amazing job he did. He should’ve won an Oscar. Because—Kyungsoo is in love. He’s not that stupid. He had lived in that big, cold, silent apartment for so long and nothing ever bothered him. Chanyeol opened that door, taking up all the space, walking in with his stinking feet, rubbing his scent everywhere, making loud noises and warming Kyungsoo’s bed. And now Kyungsoo hates his own house, hates his empty bed, hates the quiet atmosphere, hates the goddamn sheets that never warm him up quite like that giant did.

 He tried to hate Chanyeol. It used to be easy for Kyungsoo to hate things.

“Kyungsoo,” Jongin pleads. “Say something.”

He can’t. Kyungsoo was gone, too gone. His obnoxious laugh, his smile with too many teeth; that weird sound he’d make while he ate Kyungsoo’s food, like he was tasting heaven or something; his warm hugs; his horrible jokes; the way he always touched Kyungsoo like he was the most important and delicate thing in the world… Kyungsoo couldn’t hate him. Kyungsoo did some stupid things, like researching about music, following his friends’ online life, trying not to interrupt Chanyeol’s life in any aspect… It was hard. Every damn friend Chanyeol had looked like a fucking idol, and every one of them was taller than Kyungsoo. It wasn’t fucking fair.

Kyungsoo sits on the ground.

He was so stupid, so shy, so obviously… Sometimes Kyungsoo felt like there was something in his throat. He couldn’t speak. He only knew how to be distant, how to run away. His friends found a way to invade Kyungsoo’s life. Junmyeon would be the understanding one, _I’m here if you need me._ Jongin would be the aggressive one, _you can’t run from me._ Minseok would be the wise one, _well, I won’t bother you, come to me if you want to._

Chanyeol didn’t have to do a thing. Kyungsoo disarmed himself. The funniest thing is that Chanyeol has no idea. He has no idea of how much Kyungsoo gave him. Because even if Kyungsoo opened himself up so much, it simply wasn’t enough.

The door opens violently. Kyungsoo covers his ears. Jongin lets out a long sigh of relief.

“Did you hurt yourself?”

“No.”

Jongin walks in cautiously, kneels in front of Kyungsoo.

“I know you’re mad and you’re probably doing that thing you do where you roast everything and everyone like they’re contestants on your show, but listen.”

Amazing. Kyungsoo is stupid _and_ predictable.

“If he doesn’t want the child, you don’t have to worry. You have me, Junma, Minnie,” Jongin says softly. “We won’t let anyone hurt you.”

Too late.

“That’s not—” Kyungsoo tries. It’s hard to explain why he’s so fucking angry. He had to watch his brother being praised for being mediocre when Kyungsoo’s talent was treated like… his fucking obligation. He had to put up with so much shit to get where he is. He had to pretend he wasn’t tired when he was exhausted. He couldn’t let himself fail. He had to put work above everything else.

Then, he allowed himself to have feelings, he allowed himself to be vulnerable. And he’s being punished for it.

He’s not even scared of raising a child. It’s just… not fair.

Jongin is waiting patiently for his answer.

 _I love him_ , Kyungsoo wants to say, but the worst realization is that loving Chanyeol is a good thing – that wasn’t the problem at all. The problem was that Kyungsoo built his entire life around being able to run, to avoid, to ignore things. He hired a mate to keep himself distant, to not get distracted by dating.

He touches his belly. Almost three fucking months.

“I can feel it,” he says, finally.

 

 

.


	5. OMEGAS ARE FROM NEPTUNE, ALPHAS ARE FROM URANUS

 

 

Yixing cuts a small piece of the cake.

“It’s really good,” he smiles at the small girl. She bows.

“Thank you, doctor. I’m honored you’re here.”

Yixing sometimes forgets his patient’s faces. He has so many. But as soon as they start talking, he remembers something, small things, details. His mind is always wandering, but his heart keeps them. She’s an alpha, the cook from the show. He drinks the juice, happy. He’s eating by himself.

Yixing does a lot of things by himself, but today it’s because Junmyeon told him he’s not coming – he has work to do. Yixing isn’t sad, or disappointed. He likes the relationship they have, even if it’s probably not going to last. Junmyeon has spent all these months being the perfect boyfriend – Yixing knows they’re alpha and omega, but he’s also sure they aren’t mates yet: he takes Yixing out twice a week, calls him every day, talks to his mothers and sisters and, of course, he never pressures Yixing into physically mating. Yixing informed him on their first date, _I don’t like sex, I hope this won’t be a problem._ Junmyeon was taken aback, of course, an alpha who doesn’t want sex; but he just smiled and nodded, _no problem at all._

Yixing know he is… different. He hates aggression – he still remembers how badly his mothers had been treated, - he avoids mating and he is not a good leader. He’s always relying on his friends. He couldn’t do anything without Yifan, Tao or Minseok, for sure. But he doesn’t care anymore. He loves his peaceful, quiet life. He loves his job.

“What’s the name of this cake?” Yixing asks to a waitress that passes by.

“Strawberry lava cake,” she smiles. “It’s our flagship cake.”

“Oh,” he smiles back. “Could I get a piece of this cake boxed to go? I want to share it with a friend.”

“Of course,” she writes in her notepad.

Yixing will bring a piece to Yifan. He’ll complain, but he’ll like it. Yifan has been in a bad mood since Yixing and Junmyeon started dating, even if he swears he doesn’t care. Tao would love this cake too.

 

 **yixing** **sent a picture** *cutecake*

 **yixing:** thinking about you

 **tao:** yummmmy! So cute!

 **tao:** missing you!

 

Yixing pays the bill and decides to check on Minseok. He’s been very quiet lately. He was devastated when his boyfriend left him, and he signed for Yixing’s mating service for so long that Yixing thinks that maybe… he’s still not over that guy, after all these years. Well, it’s good to have him around. Kris takes care of “CHOOSE” (it’s just a couple of alphas and omegas) overseas, but Yixing wishes he could expand. Maybe when Luhan decides to open his own mating service…

His phone rings.

“Doctor Zhang?” a melodious voice asks.

“Yes.”

“Oh, it’s Seokjin. We have an appointment today… now, to be honest.”

“Oh,” Yixing forgot about it. “I’m sorry. My assistant is on vacation, I’m lost. But I’m going to the CHOOSE office now, can you wait for me?”

“Yes!”

“Oh, before I leave. Do you want a piece of lava cake? It’s strawberry flavored.”

“What?” he laughs. “I… I guess… I love food…”

“I’ll get one for you, then.”

“Thank you, doctor.”

 

Yixing smiles and turns back. Another piece of cake, please!

 

 

 

 

 


	6. ABO FOR DUMMIES

 

 

Sehun slaps his own face. He’s on his third frappuccino, and it’s not even eleven in the morning. He hates first weeks – he hates to introduce himself, weird people staring at him, hates the morning classes. His class is full of fashionistas, no one is shy anymore after five semesters in design hell. Sehun frowns. Some of them seem to think they’re Lady Gaga or something. He tries to find his inner piece when a guy wearing a potato on his shirt passes him by.

He’s not having the best month. Or the best year.

When he first stepped into university, he met his friends. Sehun skipped last year of high school, like most people with good grades and actual talent do at Public Schools – and some lucky people at Conservative Schools, maybe. The Fashion Designer School approved his sketches and he aced the writing test. It should have been hard for him to make friends – he was shy, too young, a recently presented beta, - but he stepped on a drunk Baekhyun and, in five minutes, they were best-friends-since-birth. It was nice, when the boys were around. None of them was in design, but Baekhyun and Jongdae were in the same campus.

If his parent’s weren’t so protective, he’d live with them. Their apartment was a mess, but Sehun loved spending the night there. They would binge watch shows, eat snacks, play drinking games… Ah.

“Hey,” a girl asks. Sehun realizes he’s standing in the middle of the hall. “Aren’t you Oh Sehun?” 

“Yes,” he blinks. “And you are…?”

“I’m the monitor from FD325, Fashion Business, Mondays and Wednesdays, 9 to 11,” she explains very slowly, like she wasn’t sure if Sehun would remember. “You missed yesterday’s class.”

“Oh…” he nods. “Sorry…?”

“No problem,” she laughs. “We assigned the partners for the final project.”

Shit. Already? On the first fucking class? He misses the time when the regulations were less strict. Once he and Chanyeol  went on a week-long vacation right in the middle of Sehun’s semester. No problem, no one noticed, easy to catch up later.

“I’ll have to do it by myself?” he frowns.

This is the main problem in his  life right now. Baekhyun and Jongdae are out of the country – no plans of returning anytime soon. Chanyeol is serving, and, of course, he broke up with Sehun, _I’ll be serving for like… more than a year, for sure. There’s no point in continuing this relationship_. Sehun was offended. Was he that disposable? It would be easier if Chanyeol just admitted they were friends with benefits – in the end, what Sehun misses the most is his company. He and Chanyeol were best friends, after all. His parents expect him to act like an adult. Sehun has no idea how to adult. He is a fucking baby.

“No,” she lends him a paper. “But since you weren’t there, I put you with the exchange student – the new guy.”

Sehun laughs.

“Because no one wanted to be his partner?”

“It wasn’t like that,” she sighs. “He’s not used to how things are here.”

“So I’ll have to be his babysitter?”

“It’s just a project. Do you want to do it by yourself?”

Fuck it.

“No,” Sehun sighs. “I’ll talk to him.”

 

 

Sehun misses Wednesday classes, so he only sees the guy a week later. He’s pretty eye-catching – he would notice an alpha taller than him wearing eyeliner, a goddamn hello kitty suitcase and holding a panda plushie in class. Sehun is speechless. _Speechless_.

“Zi… tao?” Sehun intercepts him before he leaves. “Huang Zitao?”

“Hello,” he says, smiling. He is pretty, no doubt. He’s just ridiculous.

“I’m… your partner,” Sehun bows. “So I guess we should talk about the project?”

“You missed the classes,” Zitao points. “Do you even know how to do it?”

Sehun laughs.

“It can’t be that hard,” he says. He has no idea. He doesn’t care, honestly.

“We have to simulate the management of a fashion brand, honey,” he chuckles. “I guarantee you it’s not easy. Your friends are terrified. I have to admit it’s a bit hard for you, the stylists. You guys only know how to draw and take instagram pictures, right?”

Sehun gapes at him.

“And you would know better?”

“Of course,” Tao holds his ridiculous suitcase. “Not only am I a Business student, but I’m also already working managing a friend’s… service. I know how to make things work. Fashion is just a hobby.”

Sehun inspects him from head to toe. Skinny jeans, oversized red coat, white shirt.

“Just a hobby? I can see that,” he says, venomous. Two can play this game.

Tao just laughs, throwing his head back.

“I like you,” he says, rubbing his index fingers delicately under his eyes. Flawless eyeliner, Sehun has to admit. “Okay, let’s talk. Want to grab a coffee?”

Well. Sehun shrugs.

“Need a frapuccino,” he says. “I guess you’re not that bad. I thought you’d just be a pain in my ass.”

“Oh,” Tao laughs. “I could be. I have a knot.”

 

 

 


	7. HISTORY OF PRE-ABO SOCIETIES

 

 

Four in the morning, poor Yixing can’t keep his eyes open. Tao pats his head, smiling.

“I can finish this without you, Xing. You can take a nap,” he says softly. The paperwork is the worst part, no matter the kind of service, but when it involves a risky thing like mating, it’s a bit worse.

“No,” Yixing slaps himself lightly. “Let’s grab some coffee.”

“Are you sure?”

“Yes, yes,” Yixing laughs. “I’m going to be a doctor, Zitao. I’m used to spending the entire night awake and focused.”

“I kind of disagree,” Tao smiles. “But I never decline an offer for coffee.”

“I’m talking about real coffee. Not… that sugary thing…”

“Don’t offend my Frappuccino,” Tao makes a face. “Let’s go, come on.”

Maybe Yixing is right. He is slow and sleepy normally – after sixteen hours of work, he looks the same as he does when he’s on vacation. He is dedicated to everything with an intense passion, but he transpires calmness.

“Since when you’re drinking coffee, Xing?” he asks, grabbing his pink coat. It’s cold outside.

“I have a friend who taught me to enjoy coffee,” Yixing explains, smiling.

“Oh, a friend?” Tao blinks, suggestive.

“A friend,” Yixing smiles. “Not everyone is a relationship addict like you.”

“I’m not, shut up.”

“Okay. Well, when you are done, then you can sign up too.”

“No, thanks,” Tao laughs, shaking his head. “You know very well what I think about…”

“Yes, I do,” Yixing says, unaffected. “I wish you read the books I lend you. Alternative medicine--”

“Xing, no offense, but I only see you twice a year, now. I don’t want to hear your rants about college, okay? It’s enough. Like, we already spend all our free time working,” Tao sighs. “I want to hear about you. I’m your _friend_.”

“Okay, I’m sorry,” Yixing holds the door so they can get inside the café. “You can ask me anything. Also, I told you can visit me anytime, Zitao. You won’t bother me.”

“I’m busy too,” Tao sticks his tongue out. “It’s not just you, Dr. Zhang.”

Is true. Tao is working, studying, training and taking care of his little cousins. He’s exhausted, and he injured himself twice last year. But life is good; he’s making money, having a good time and he can’t complain.

“Oh, yeah? And how’s that nice alpha you were seeing?”

“ _I’m_ seeing. We’re dating,” Tao smiles. He pretends he’s reading the menu to stop himself from blushing. “Yifan is okay. He liked you a lot too. He always asks about you.”

“Oh,” Yixing smiles softly. “That’s cute. Can I see him while I’m here?”

“Of course,” he nods. “It’d be a great excuse for us to escape from work for a while. He’s busy too, but he always finds time to be with me, even when he’s exhausted. He’s cute.”

Tao feels that warmth in his chest. He knows most people wouldn’t call Yifan _cute_ , but well, Tao is in love. He has no doubt. He isn’t sure they can call each other mates, since they’re both alphas. It’s funny. All his life Tao was ready to be become some omega’s prince charming and he fell this hard for another alpha who keeps treating him like a baby. It’s not bad, no, not at all. But it’s funny.

“Ooooh,” Yixing pokes Tao’s cheek fondly. “You’re cute.”

“Shut up,” Tao chuckles, turning to the barista. “Frappucino grande and an expresso. Five cinnamon rolls for me and one for this dumb-dumb here.”

“Five?” Yixing laughs.

“I have to eat a lot, okay? I train for three hours every day,” Tao slaps his friend on the arm. “How about you, huh? Still a lone wolf?

Yixing lifts his shoulders and lets them fall. “Maybe I’ll start dating after graduation. I’m not in a hurry.”

“Dumb-dumb.”

“And you are… not that cute.”

Tao giggles, shakes his head.

“What a pathetic excuse for alphas we are.”

 

 


	8. THE DISSOLUCTION OF THE ALPHA/OMEGA FAMILY

 

 

The bag makes an annoying sound when it hits the table.

“Good morning, little assholes,” Baekhyun takes off his sunglasses, striking a pose. “I have good news!”

“There’s no class today,” one student guesses, hopeful. Baekhyun glares at him.

“How is that good news? Ain’t I the coolest teacher you guys have?”

Silence.

“I’ll ignore your betrayal today, cause…” Baekhyun open his arms, shakes his hands, smiling. “I’m going to be a father!”

Some students clap. One of them seems lost.

“But aren’t you… a beta?” she asks.

“How do you know? Don’t assume people’s gender,” Baekhyun points out. All eyes are on his BETAS FOR THE WIN mug on the table. “That… could be a gift. Or… I could’ve stolen it.”

She shrugs. One or two students scream “congratulations”.

“Well, enjoy your single and free life now, since you haven’t presented yet,” he says, sitting in his chair. “I want you to warm up your voices, go, three, two, one!”

He takes advantage of their screaming mess to send a message to Minseok.

 

**baekhyun** how’s my mate, my love, my cupcake, my cute thing, my flower, my melted sugar

**baekhyun** and how’s the cutest baby in the world????

**minseok** I’m fine, you don’t have to ask every five minutes

**minseok** the baby could be ugly, you know? He has your dna

**baekhyun** … unnecessary  aggression, but I LOVE YOU

**minseok** hahahah I love you too

 

After five hours of screaming kids, Baekhyun deserves some ice cream. He deserves a foot massage and some kisses too, but well, one thing at a time.

**baekhyun** so I’m buying an ice cream tub

**baekhyun** what flavor does my cute little duck want??

**jongdae** chocolate, vanilla, coffee and cream

**jongdae** I love you

**baekhyun** well, I guess I’ll have to buy the entire store!!  I LUV U

Baekhyun almost forgets Chanyeol isn’t working at the café anymore. So many things have changed lately, seems like he is always forgetting something. He hopes this ice cream is a good one, by the way, because Chanyeol’s evil mate is around, eating more than Tao, and he is not very tolerant. Now that he thinks about it, a lot of people are visiting their house lately… And, of course, there’s Minseok’s Hot Ass Friends, Junmyeon and Jongin. Baekhyun likes them. They’re nice.

What an amazing turn of events, lately. And to think that years ago he was drinking and crying in Europe, so sure that Jongdae had left him forever; or when he got back home, with his friends away, no job prospects and only music to make him feel happy. He spent his teenage years joking around to forget how he always felt a little different – he remembers talking to Dr. Zhang, and his calm, gentle voice explaining that Baekhyun was just okay. There were a lot of people like him out there.

Now he’s going to be a father.

Life is full of surprises; Baekhyun embraces what is given to him.

 

 


	9. HOW TO DEAL WITH MATING ON THE FIRST HEAT AND RUT

 

 

He wakes up with a noise – something breaking. Maybe glass? He just hopes it’s not one of the mirrors he installed in the living room. He jumps out of bed, runs downstairs and turns on the lights.

Taemin is kneeling on the floor; the new vase his sister gave him broken in many pieces. The dogs are alarmed, but they’re fine. The cat is just staring, bored.

“My bad,” Taemin says, smiling. “Please tell me you hated this vase?”

“I hated the vase,” Jongin says, sleepy and tired. “What time is it? Why are you here? What the fuck are you doing?”

“Two o’clock, practicing, I needed the mirrors.” Taemin is messily picking the pieces with his bare hands.

“The lights are off,” Jongin groans. “Let—Let me do that, you’re going to cut your hands.”

“No, no, go to bed,” he nods, picking up the last piece. He’s wearing only his cotton pants and his back is covered in sweat. “I’ll put this in the trash, I won’t be making more noise, I swear.”

“Taemin,” Jongin says.

“Huh?” he starts messing with the trashcan. The cat is sleeping again.

“Taemin, you’re in rut.”

“Huh?!”

“Taemin, I can smell you from here.”

“Well, maybe,” Taemin opens the glass door, looking outside. “I’ll be out, then, so the scent doesn’t bother you.”

Jongin rolls his eyes. Every time, every-fucking-time.

“Taemin, we can mate,” Jongin inspects the ground to see if he left any small pieces that the dogs can step on or swallow. No, nothing. “There’s a box of condoms next to my bed and my heat is supposed to arrive by the end of month now, I synched with Kyungsoo again. No danger, you know.”

“Hmmm,” he says, distracted, looking at something in the garden. “I’ll pass. I’ll use the energy to practice. Go to sleep.”

Jongin sighs, counts to three.

“Okay, if you don’t want to—“

“Hey, I had an idea,” he says, looking back at Jongin. He’s smiling mischievously, looking like a kid. “Come here.”

It’s a bad idea. Jongin knows it very well. Yet he goes. His mate takes his hand and points to the grass.

“Do you want me to sit?”

“Yup.”

Jongin sits, even if he’s still using his onesie. At this point, he doesn’t care – he can’t go back to sleep anyway and the scent is making him restless. Taemin sits next to him.

“What are we going to do?”

“Stargazing,” Taemin informs him, lying down on the grass.

“Are you fucking kidding me?” Jongin stares down at him. “Put a shirt on, this is gross.”

“Nah, where’s the fun in that?” he chuckles, tapping the grass. “Come on!”

Jongin sighs, lies down, looks up.

“Amazing,” he says dryly. “Lots of stars. Are we going to mate or I can go back to bed?”

“My mate is so romantic,” Taemin laughs. “I can suck you off; you think you’ll be in a better mood after that?”

“Taemin, you’re in rut,” Jongin wants to cry, honestly. “Can you— Moon. I’m not going to get pregnant if we knot!”

“Why are you so obsessed with knotting?” Taemin asks, mocking him. “Look at the stars, relax. I think you have an alpha complex. That Freudian thing, you know, knot-envy.”

Jongin punches him in the arm, hard. Taemin laughs.

“See,” Taemin says, still chuckling. “Aggressive behavior.”

“I don’t envy your fucking knot,” Jongin spits. “My dick is bigger than yours.”

“Just one centimeter.”

“I’m also taller, stronger and handsomer.”

“You’re right,” Taemin nods, and then pokes Jongin’s nose with his index finger. “Let’s sue our parents’ genes. They’re all wrong.”

Jongin tries to bite his finger. Taemin laughs again. That’s all he does. When he’s happy, sad, scared, angry, and even when he’s horny. That smile never leaves his enormous mouth. Jongin mated the fucking Joker.

“Stop poutinnnnnng,” Taemin sings. “Jonginnnnn.”

“Fuck you. I’m itchy, your scent is making me anxious, I can’t sleep—”

“Hey,” Taemin turns to his mate, supporting himself on his elbow. “Look at me.”

“What,” Jongin obeys, because what else could he do on the fucking grass at two in the morning.

“Good. Now stop pouting.”

“No.”

“Hey,” Taemin smiles. “I love you.”

Jongin rolls his eyes. It’s always the same.

“I love you too,” he grunts.

“That’s not very convincing.”

“I’ll punch you again.”

Taemin laughs, his eyes shining. He looks exactly like he did when he was sixteen. Jongin knows they have aged, of course, but he can’t see the difference. His mate is the same crazy kid that broke into a conservative hospital a decade ago, just to spend ten minutes with him, _you and me, no one can stop us, let them try._

“Stop looking at me like that,” Jongin complains.

“Like what?”

This brat.

“Stop. Or do something.”

“Oh, I can’t. You’re the alpha here and all that shit.”

Jongin punches him again. Taemin falls on his back, giggling. Jongin wishes he could be mad at his mate for five minutes, just once. Jongin sits up, then stands, dusting off his onesie.

“I’m going to bed, asshole.”

 “Wait,” Taemin jumps, stands next to him. “Before you go.”

“What?” Jongin watches, tired, as his mate puts an arm around his waist.

“Let’s dance. Slow dancing.”

“Oh, Moon. Why me?”

Jongin gives up, lays his head on Taemin’s shoulder, hugs him. His scent is not that strong; five years ago, Jongin would be passing out from the need to mate. They’re getting older…

“What was the name of that song we danced to at that ball in Japan?” Taemin asks.

“I don’t remember… it was a tango,” Jongin whispers. “It was some Spanish thing…”

“Well, didn’t you visit the Caribbean once? You should remember.”

“Fuck you, you had like, three concerts in Mexico,” Jongin whispers. He misses ball dancing, anyway, so he cooperates. It’s cold outside, moving makes them more comfortable.

“Hey,” Taemin says, still guiding Jongin.

“What?”

“Look at me.”

“What?” Jongin lifts his head. Taemin is staring at him, serious. Jongin blinks. It’s hard to look him in the eyes when he’s being serious. Jongin can see himself reflected on them.

“You know I’m the luckiest man in the world for having you, right?” Taemin says slowly and clearly, looking straight into his mate’s eyes.

Jongin gasps, blushing. Twelve fucking years. This asshole still makes him blush.

“Shut up,” Jongin avoids his gaze, still dancing. Taemin laughs. Jongin is tired, but he just rests his head on his mate’s shoulder and closes his eyes.

He believes the Moon knows better than him, after all. When he was fifteen, all he wanted was a relationship like his parents’. Something between equals, something peaceful, based on love and support; no bad surprises. What a crazy turn of events, but looking back, Jongin has no regrets. He hugs his mate closer, and sniffs his skin.

“I hate you,” he says, and notices his shaky voice.

“Oh,” Taemin smiles. “Don’t worry, I hate you more.”

 

 

 


	10. ‘NO ALPHA, NO PROBLEM’: THE MODERN UNMATED OMEGA

 

The last thing Luhan saw before passing out was the sky. The first thing he saw when he opened his eyes was Yixing’s face, too close to be a good thing.

“What… the… fuck…” he blinked hard.

“A ball,” Yixing nodded. “A ball hit your head. How many fingers do you see?”

Yixing lifts two fingers. Luhan tries to touch them.

“No cheating,” Yixing says, shaking his head.

“I see two,” Luhan says, sitting up on the bed. “I just want to know that I’m not dreaming.”

“So your head isn’t hurting?”

“A little.”

“Don’t zone out while you’re playing,” Yixing shrugs. “My advice as your doctor.”

“That’s the worst medical advice ever.”

“Ah, you have no idea. I’ve seen things.”

Luhan stretches his neck, moves to one side, round and round. Yixing sit on his bed. Oh. Luhan is in Yixing’s house. That’s why the bed is so soft.

“I asked for a radiography, just in case,” Yixing said. “Also, no work for you tomorrow.”

“Fuck,” Luhan groans. “Is it that bad?”

“It’s purple. It’s messing up your pretty face.”

“Good. This pretty face helps me with nothing.”

“And… you’ve been out for five hours.”

“Fuck.”

Yixing gives him a small mirror. Luhan doesn’t want to look at it. He knows he is a mess, purple head or not. He’s not sleeping or eating right, he only thinks about working. He knows it’s a personal addiction – and he knows addictions develop to fill an empty space. It’s even crazier because Luhan is working in the business that wrecked him.

He has to admit he wasn’t ready to mate. There was a reason he was a virgin until his _fucking thirties_. He wasn’t comfortable with closeness. His mother always said that mating was a turning point in an alpha’s life, but let’s face it, she also believed that omegas only mated once in their lives so it could just be another prejudiced opinion.

 But Luhan understood.

He was taught how to be an alpha even before presenting – one of the things they taught him was never showing weakness around other alphas. But fuck, when wasn’t he surrounded by alphas?

Being alone with Minseok was the most terrifying thing he had to do in his life. He never learned how to be vulnerable. He never learned how to be transparent. He just knew how to be respectful, gentle, kind – because _that_ was what he was allowed to be.

Mating was… good. The intimacy, the touching, everything was sweet, soft, a balm. When he had to mate someone else… he felt like he wasn’t there. Like he was dreaming. He wanted to hear something from Minseok, anything to confirm that he felt that way too. But the truth was, Minseok was already mated when they met. They weren’t bonding. He was just falling in love – and, yeah, his conservative household wouldn’t recognize “love” out of mating, but fuck, Luhan did. He fell in love by himself.

“Look in the mirror,” Yixing says, softly.

Yixing is a sweet, kind alpha. Chanyeol too. It’s easy to be like that when they’re surrounded by people who don’t expect them to be something they’re not.

Luhan doesn’t know who that poor man in the reflection is.

“You know,” Yixing smiles. “It’s not hurting because it’s over. It’s hurting because you’re not taking care of it.”

Yeah, Luhan never learned how to take care of things. Now, he has friends taking care of him. Hyeri calls every day, chats about her routine, asks about work. Chanyeol is always talking, sending memes, worrying about Luhan’s health. Yifan pretends he’s not worrying, but he keeps finding excuses to talk to Luhan. He’s lucky for having them in his life.

“You have to let it go,” Yixing holds his hand.

Yeah, Luhan knows. But what does Yixing know? His boyfriend broke up with him and all Yixing did was to sigh and say goodbye. It’s his nature, he’s light, he’s soft, but Luhan isn’t it. Maybe his face tricks people into thinking he is.

“He’s dating someone,” Luhan says. Actually, Minseok is dating two people, which is a very Minseok thing to do. He doesn’t care about what people say about him. Luhan does.

“You don’t have to be like him,” Yixing says. “You never wanted to mate before. We don’t have to be in love to be happy.”

Luhan considers it. He knows the reasons he had to avoid mating. He knew why he was so lonely. He knows why it’s being so hard to move on. He’s happy Minseok is happy. He doesn’t want them to date or to mate anymore. He knows why they can’t be together.

But it hurts, anyway. To be by himself.

He looks at himself: bags under his eyes, messy hair, purple forehead.

“No, you’re wrong,” Luhan says. “There’s someone I have to fall in love with.”

 

 

 


	11. THE EFFECTS OF SUPRESSANTS IN MODERN SOCIETY

 

 

Yifan was too tired to do that, but well, he wasn’t going to wait for Tao to finish eating. Good Moon, that man could eat the entire restaurant if they let him. Yifan arrived straight from set, so he still had make up on. In theory he just had to go to the restroom, walk a few meters, just basic physical effort. But Yifan was 1,87m, dressed from head to toe in black, and he has make-up on – there’s no way people won’t notice him. They will ask for pictures, to talk, to have things signed. Yifan just want to take a piss, thank you.

He stands up, takes a long breath.

“Where are you going?” Tao asks, still chewing.

“I need to pee,” he says. Tao nods; he’s very hungry. In his good days, he’d follow Yifan, because his clingy ass couldn’t be left alone for ten minutes. Yifan almost runs. He’s really too tired to talk to people, too tired to interact. He opens the door so fast that he only notices he collided with something when he hears the noise.

He looks down. There’s a person on the ground.

“Sorry,” he says, fast, offering a hand. It’s a small person, jeans and sneakers in a fancy restaurant, probably a kid. Yifan looks up to check if he’s in the gender neutral restroom for adults or if he just invaded the kids’ one.

“No problem,” the person says. It’s a deep voice, so Yifan takes a second look. No, it’s a man, adjusting his glasses on his face. He ignores Yifan hand, bows and leaves, just like that.

Yifan leaves the bathroom slowly this time. He doesn’t want to hit someone again. Also, it’s getting late. He stops by a corner, just to be sure. The restaurant is full, but no one is paying attention to the tables. Some band is playing Tony Bennet songs and Yifan thinks he can go back safely if he waits for the chorus.

Tao asked for more food. What a surprise. Yifan shakes his head weakly, sighs. A waitress passes by, smiling. He smiles back, glancing at the plate. It’s just the bill. Why can’t Kris say no when Tao asks him to go out? A couple in the center of the room is singing aloud to the song, a champagne bottle almost empty on their table. Kris yawns. He wishes they had ordered pizza and beers. He has to act all day, he needs some time to be at home by himself. Does Zitao care? No.

The waitress serves a table on the opposite corner from his and Tao’s table. Kris hadn’t seen it. Oh, he realizes, it’s the short restroom guy. He is definitely an adult, Kris must be really sleepy. He’s eating with another—

“Fuck,” Kris whispers, straightens up his posture and rubs his eyes. Is that… _Junmyeon_?

It’s him. It must be… well, it’s been some years since Kris saw him for the last time. He looks different – his hair is brown, now, falling over his eyes; he’s wearing a suit, which is scary, since he used to have terrible taste for clothes. Junmyeon is laughing and, yeah, it’s him.

What a crazy coincidence. Yifan laughs. He’s the last person he expected to see. Should he…? No. They have nothing to talk about. Just a teenage fling, ended up weird – it would be awkward to approach him.

Yifan just realizes he’s staring when they stand up. Yifan can’t go back to the table; they would meet each other on the way. So he just walks to the window, sticks his head out, pretending he’s looking at the parked cars.

He can feel it when they walk past him, but they don’t stop. Yifan lets out a breath, and breathes in the cold outside air. What a windy night. The band is playing Elvis now. He stays there until he sees them walk to the car. Of fucking course it’s the most expensive one – Junmyeon could never pretend he wasn’t a rich kid. He’s laughing loudly, trying to run away from the other guy, but Yifan knows Junmyeon can’t do anything right when he’s laughing. 

“No, no, Kyungsoo,” he almost screams, giggling, while the other guy is locking him in his small arms. “I was kidding! I was kidding! I take it back!”

Yifan giggles too. It’s funny to watch them.  

Yifan realizes suddenly: he hadn’t recognized Junmyeon’s scent. He must be on some strong suppressants now. A bit predictable, but…

The two of them get in the car. Junmyeon is driving, of course. He loved to drive, _I live to feel like I can go anywhere, anytime and then come back home._ Yifan stays at the window after they leave. He’s not feeling tired. He remembers so many things… The school days, the starry nights… It’s like he’s sixteen again. It’s another—

“I thought you died,” Tao wakes him up, waving. “I checked the bathroom twice.”

“Sorry,” Yifan whispers. He’s still a bit lost. “Did you finish—” 

“Yes,” Tao sighs, smiling as if he can’t believe what he sees. “Ah hour ago, Yifan.”

“Fuck,” he looks around. At least half the people are gone. How?

“Why are you hiding there?” Tao laughs. _At least he’s not mad_ , Yifan thinks. “You look like you saw a ghost!”

Yifan laughs too.

“I did.”

 

 

 

.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> remember when I said... I wrote a lot about this universe?   
> If you're reading this, then you've read a lot too  
> thanks! I hope you liked!

**Author's Note:**

> thanks to Vero, mi amiga, and occasionally a cute beta <3  
> hey, I hope you all don't get lost :)


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